


Midnight at Tastycake

by thatwannabecat



Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Feels, As Canon Compliant as Blaseball Gets, But Really Flooding is Fun, Canon Compliant, Drowning, Flooding is Fun, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mention of alcohol, Not its not we want our Boy back, Other, Survivor Guilt, content warning, season 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:29:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29914857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwannabecat/pseuds/thatwannabecat
Summary: Before traveling to San Fransisco, Elvis and Jaxon make one last stop at Tastycake stadium and discover Eduardo Woodman, captain of the Pies, sitting all alone.





	Midnight at Tastycake

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a comment in Pies chat. I kind of just built it up from there.
> 
> Basic lore for Season 12 Pies' lineup recommended. At the very least know that Jode doesn't actually exist and is a mass hallucination shared by Blaseball players. 
> 
> There are references to deeper Pie's lore, but that's not needed to enjoy the fic.

Under a dreary night sky, Jaxon watched, from the safety of his truck, the Wawaiathan make a perfect circle above Tastycake Stadium. Both hands firmly on the wheel, Jaxon’s eyes returned to the winding streets of the city of Philadelphia. In the back seat, Elvis Figueroa ate a pie from Tastycake while Fl’tch’r rode shotgun. “Bad omen I tell ya’ fellas, I feel it in my bones.” Jaxon said. “I don’t think tomorrow’s Blall game will go well.”

Elvis’s many gnome arms tidied the crumbs out of their beard before saying “Do you think we will lose tomorrow’s game?”

Jaxon shrugged as he drove on into the parking lot of Tastycake stadium (after paying the communal toll to the Philling of course) searching for a certain multi colored van. “I doubt it.” The pies don’t always win, but they rarely lose.

Players like Farrell Seagull saw to that. She was standing in front of her hand painted van, two arms folded across her chest. She smiled as she saw Jaxon’s van pull up and straightened herself out. “You’re last, Fl’tch’r! Everyone else is already here!” 

Fl’tch’r whined mournfully, according to Party Animal tradition they were to purchase the first drink for being late to the party. Jaxon smiled, and opened the truck door. “Sorry we’re late Mx. Seagull. Fl’tch’r and I had to get stop and get Figurora.” They said gesturing to the backseat. “Says they forgot their good glove before the trip.” 

“Hard to do the ‘submarine’ without it.” Elvis added.

Fl’tch’r and Elvis opened their respective doors to greet Farrell, before noticing something odd. It wasn’t the old man reading a latin book in the passenger’s seat of Farrell’s van, nor was it the Philling watching from the window of Tastycake. It was the two people barely visible under the shadows of Farrell’s van that caught Elvis’s eye. Standing luxuriously beside Farrell was a man with a cravat, and crouched on the ground was a person wearing a rubber Dolphin mask. Lang gave a deep elegant bow to the new arrivals, while Yusef was too engrossed checking their glamestop stocks on their phone. “Well this is a surprise. We didn’t know you two were part of the party animals.” Elvis said.

“You are not wrong my dear Elvis. But when Farrell proposed an emergency Party Animals meeting, I decided to grace them with my presence tonight.” He twirled his hair, “As for Yusef, they--”

“Wanted to try.” Yusef turned off their phone. “Tonight is a good night for it.” They said pausing before hastily adding “It’ll be the last one of the season. Didn’t want to spend it alone.” 

Jaxon Smiled softly, deciding not to inquire further into Yusef’s reasoning. Yusef was by far the most reclusive of the Pies (save Jode and maybe Mora), pouring hours upon hours studying Yeong-Ho Benitez's notes. Unless it was an official team get together, it was rare to see them around. 

“Yep! We won’t be back in Philly till the postseason starts. Besides--” Farrell said with a cheerful tone. “we’ve not had one since our series with the Millennials.” 

Farrell stopped herself, while Mora said “Tu mente madefacta dant.” not even bothering to look up from his book. 

“Plus, it’ll be good luck for the Playoffs.” Farrell's eyes darting around. “We already talked it over with Ed, and we’ll all be back in time for the bus for San Francisco.” 

Lang put on a smile, and said “Do say hello to Jode for all of us, I know she must get awfully lonely on nights like these.” 

“We will Mr. Richardson.” Jaxon promised. Fl’tch’r neighed in encouragement.

Farrell smiled, “Well we’ve been waiting here long enough. Come on Party Animals, times a wastin.” Fl’tch’r pranced on into Farrell’s van behind Lang while Yusef stood up and straightened their mask. “Hey Yusef” Farrell asked suddenly, “whats the strongest drink you ever had.” 

Yusef thought for a moment before saying, “I tried vodka once. Why do you ask--”. As soon as the words left Yusef’s mouth, Farrell clasped them on the back with a mischievous smile

“We’ve got you to have you try the Spiker. Come on” she said leaping into the van. Yusef, regretting their life decisions for a moment, shrugged and hopped in with Fl’tch’r and lang, deciding that the Spiker couldn’t possibly be that bad.

In the driver's seat, Farrell twisted their well worn keys, sputtering the van to life. “Hey Jaxon, Elvis.” She said as the pair walked by, with an utmost serious tone in her voice. “Text me if either of you get any news, ok?”

“Oh we most certainly will, Farrell. Just focus on having a good night tonight.” Elvis replied.

With a cocky smile, Farrell saluted them before speeding off into the night.

* * *

Beyond the corralled off area of the Pienitentiary, Elvis and Jaxon pulled out the keys for the locker. It took them two attempts to open it properly, but they finally made it into the neatly arranged locker room lined with the imagery of the greatest and most terrible pies to ever exist. 

Jaxon flipped a switch and the lights sprung to life with a low hum. Elvis shuffled their way over to their locker and began to dig through the pie wrappers and gifts from Dunlap muttering this and that. “Hmm nope—wait—aha.” They said triumphantly pulling out a wadded up old mitt. “We’re good to leave now, Jaxon.”

“Hey Figueroa” Jaxon said, starring deeper into the locker room “do ya recall leavin’ anything else out after we left today.” 

“Hmm, not that we can remember. Why?” Elvis said shuffling over to Jaxon. 

Jaxon pointed in the direction he was staring where three bowls lay, each filled with mouth watering delicious meat pies (the scent of which was enough to overpower the smell of SKATE JUICE in the room). Jaxon and Elvis stared at each other. They were the last to leave that day, and despite basically living in the stadium Jode wasn’t the type to leave a mess (nor was she the type to clean things up, Jode always left things nearly perfect as the team had left them). Elvis and Jaxon cautiously crept forward towards the bowls.

When they rounded the corner, they discovered another thing neither of them left out. What looked like a giant metal statue, sitting with his head down beside the bowls. In his hands he held a deluxe hand camera (whose batteries had long since drained away).

“Ah geez.” Jaxon said, shaking the metal man’s shoulders. “Wake up, Captain.”

Eduardo Woodman, captain of the pies, jolted to life “Ah—Beasley that you?” As soon he saw Elvis and Jaxon his metal face dimmed. “Oh. Why Elvis and Jaxon, what brings you here tonight?”

“We were looking for our good mitts, Ed. Why are you here so late” Elvis asked, already knowing the answer.

“Oh it can’t be that late.” Ed said inspecting the dead camera. 

“Ed, it’s half past ten.”

“Is that so?” Ed said inquisitively. “I wanted to make sure Beas had a good meal when he came back and I thought--” he stopped to think of a good enough excuse, “I wanted to make sure as captain Jode was doing well.”

“Oh Ed.” Jaxon said, taking off their hat and giving the metal man a hug with his cybernetic arms. “You don’t have to wait for Beasley all by your lonesome.”

“Not true, I have Jode to keep me company.” Ed was right, Jode was sitting quietly beside all of them.

“Evenin’ Ms. Preston.” Jaxon said.

Jode replied with a sad greeting.

“It certainly is Ms. Preston.” Jaxon said mournfully. The memory of the flood just three days ago was fresh in each and every one of the pie's minds.

It was the bottom of the eighth, Farrell was up to bat with Beasley on first. She was grinning ear to ear, clutching her personal speckled bat when Jode noticed it. From the ground, specks of bright Immateria was beginning to spill onto the field in small spurts. The Pies had dealt with this before, and heard of stories of players being washed away in the deluge of Immateria. But nothing of the sort happened to them.

Farrell sprinted over to the dugout like a lighting bolt, being pulled into safety by Lang and Jode. Farrell whistled as she watched the sparkling Immateria spill begin to flood the field while Yusef and Ed prepped the anti flooding measures the League had provided. 

Elvis was the first to see it, all eight gnomes pointing it to the rest of the team with a terrified squeak. Beasley Day was sprinting over to the dugout, all by his lonesome out in the field, when a surge of Immateria swept him off his feet.

Jaxon could only watch in silent horror, as Beasley’s three heads let out a fearful yowl. Farrell cried out and attempted to leap out into the field, but was held back by Ed who barked to Elvis to hit the button. The Pies could only watch, their dugout jettisoning up into the sky, as Beasley’s heads slipped underneath the rising Immateria flood, one last time. 

When the flood cleared, just a few minutes later, the field was completely bare.

The Pies don’t always win, but they lost that day.

“All the other players swept up have returned, Ed.” Elvis said stoically. “We can’t imagine anything that’ll get Beas Under there.” 

Jode provided some very wise words of poignant insight into the team's faithful Cerberus Hound.

“Ms. Preston’s got a point, Captain.” Jaxon said. “Good ol’ Day knows how to handle himself.” 

“Aye.” Elvis added.

Ed sighed, “Beas might not be the best player, but the team just ain’t the same without him. His air guitar, his smile, and just the enthusiasm and passion he brought to the splort.” He looked up at his team members, “There just ain’t a Blaseball player like Beasley.” 

Jaxon frowned, uncertain of what to say. He put kindness and politeness first and foremost, but he never knew how to break hard news. He couldn’t imagine having to do what Ed does: talking to the team about the floods, informing them about Joshua Butts and Casey Sports. Ed broke bad news with a soothing smile on his face, the kind that comforted you and reassured you despite it all it will be alright. Jaxon wanted to be like that.

Elvis sat down next to Ed, their arms reaching out and patting Ed’s shoulders. “I know. It’s not easy losing someone who’s been on the team as long as Beasely. We know that as well as anyone.”

Elvis, Jode, Jaxon, and Ed sat there silently for some time. Jaxon took a deep breath and said “Come on, Captain. We gotta get ready tomorrow for the Blall game. You can spend the night at my place.” 

“Let’s wait ten minutes more, just in case.” Ed said. “I want to make sure Beas gets home safely.”

“Of course, Ed.” 

“Can do, Captain.” 

Jode agreed.

And so they sat, alone in Tastycake stadium with the Wawaiathan overhead and the Philling roaming the halls. Downtown the party animals, joined by Ruslan and Henry Marshallow, determined to stave off tomorrow partied the night away (even Yusef, despite their regrets with the Spiker).

The Pies didn’t always win, but each and everyone of them were determined to make sure that tonight they won’t lose.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Wanted to get this out before any sudden changes to the pies lineup happened again, *Farrell*. 
> 
> Least Huber Frumple seems cool.
> 
> The Pies season 10-12 lineup has been the only one I knew, and I grew really attached to them all across season 12. Before it ended, I wanted to get a fic out that featured all of the batters in some capacity. 
> 
> The initial idea for the fic was weak, but with Beasley's sudden disappearance and a comment in Pies chat I had a much better idea of what I wanted to write. Plus this way I got Elvis and Mora, for better or for worse, included as well. 
> 
> First Blaseball fan fiction and first post on Archive of our Own. Somehow written in a day and edited on another. Don't expect this level of productivity from me soon.


End file.
